412 ways to be killed by a penguin of death
412 ways number 70, a personal favourite:-
70. The Penguin of Death entices you into His lair with the promise that He will tell you THE MEANING OF LIFE. Unfortunately He tricks you and His lair is filled with TOAST that has NO EARS. Resistance is futile. The Penguin of DEATH then calls upon the TOAST and you are slowly consumed by their EARS (which they were just hiding from you).
for more go here Penguin of death
to make this clear (?) go and see Edward Monkton and his potato of Doom